March 26, 2012

WOW!!  obrigada!

 

Ellen, thank you for sharing your testimony with me. 

I am so full of fear and doubt right now. i feel like i am that person you were.  still reading the scriptures but still slipping. obedience is the first law of heaven, if we don´t accomplish the first law, we are in no way going to make it back to live with God, our Father.

 

Dad, i decided to send this letter to you instead of ellen. i am grateful for your help during my entire mission, now i the beginning of that last stretch.  if i look back i will definitely not wan tot keep moving forward. i am so grateful taht heavenly father has allowed me to serve with so many new missionaries because i have not had time to think about the past mistakes.  i have repeated so many of the same mistakes this whole time. i finally began to recognize that i have to literally make changes in my thoughts, beliefs and actions in order to show heavenly father my desire. but there are a lot of things i haven´t done and now the time is so short, i haven´t been really good at allowing heavenly father to mold me because i have had the desire to give up (take the easier way) but that is not the wway of God.

 

This week, we had lunch thursday with a member and when we arrived, irma reis was there hiding behind the door. it was so awesome to see her, but really weird too. my mind started to race thinking about the changes i have or have not made yet.  At night, our district leader talked to me and asked me if i am getting trunky. i lost it in that moment, and started to cry on the phone, he gave me 2 scriptures isaiah 41:10 and luke 1:37 with Christ all things are possible.   that day, i had been reflecting a lot on how will i be when i get home. dad i am so scared because i have made so many mistakes, and haven´t lived to the potential that heavenly father has for me. i feel like i am nnow "passed feeling" we haven´t marked anyone for baptism in 3 weeks, since irma reis left. i just haven´t been acting with the revelation that god has given me.~

 

how do i know if i am close to christ? b their fruits ye shall know them. well fruit is changes, and helping people enter baptism and change their lives.

 

basically, i just want to know your opinion...